Running mishaps

Felt like a real klutz last night. Didn’t have time to get a proper walk in with the dog so decided to run with him. Well half way through the run I decide to run “next” to the pathway as there are lots of cyclists and even though my dog is great on leash its just easier away from the cyclists. Well I’m coming up on a tree and it is dusk, I trip on a root and go down immediately, dog freaks a little and pulls me right into the low branches. I am now full of pine needles in my leg, stubbed toe and wondering htf that happened while tried to get myself out of the tree. Two runners stop and ask if I’m OK (I am) and say that was “spectacular”. Today toe is a little sore and I think my dog is inwardly laughing at me. Anyone else have a good story??

A few years back I was trail running in a park with almost no people right about dusk. I’m coming down a relatively steep hill when an owl flies out of the tree next to. I immediately think, “hey that is cool, you don’t see owls very often”. Then, BAM, I hit a root, twist my knee, down goes Frazier, slide down the hill, into the big puddle of mud at the bottom.

2 miles from the car, soaking wet, mud head to toe, and I can barely walk.

Still was a pretty cool owl.

Couple years ago running in a neighborhood at night along the sidewalk; not a lot of streetlights in this area. I was running along at a nice clip on a slight downhill when I see a couple walking and they move to their right (my left) to give me room to pass. Unfortunately for all involved, I did not notice the small dog on the right side grass which, obviously, was leashed. I trot merrily along then trip on the dog’s leash. I didn’t fall but this little dog got absolutely launched when I impacted the leash. Luckily it had a "harness’’ as opposed to the standard collar and wasn’t hurt. The dog flew probably 5-7 feet in the air. I felt SO bad but luckily the dog was ok.

Personally, I’ve never fallen while running.

NOT.

I used to run with the boxer I had before. There was one section we would sprint and he got to know this and was always ready for me. He usually beat me to the slow spot by about 1/2 of his leash length. One morning I was keeping up with him and he turned and looked at me and when he did, he ran smack into a bus stop sign. It rang like a church bell, but it freaked me out as he was in a heap at the bottom. He popped up 5 seconds later rather dazed. It was simply hilarious. Had someone stop to see if he was ok and he said it was like Wile E. Coyote hitting the post - rather comical. He never was the smartest, but he was an awesome dog.

While running I was stopped for traffic one time. Not standing too close to the curb but I guess not far enough away either considering the large puddle there. The last car went by in the lane closest to me and I got drenched. It was spring time and all the salt that was spread by the trucks over the winter to help melt snow on the roads was very evident in the water that landed in my mouth. I pretended that nothing happened, but I’m sure all onlookers had a good laugh.

few winters back, i got my ‘fancy’ new Garmin 405 and was on one of my first runs with it. it was a night run, at least it was dark i guess it could have been 4pm for all i remember. i had a headlamp on. i was turning left and managed to land my left foot (inside leg) on some ice that quickly gave me a physics lesson. next thing i know i was landing WATCH first on the conrete. my Garmin still bares the scars on the bezel so everytime i have looked at it for the past 3 years i remember that ‘crash’.

another left turn resulting in nearly the exact acccident happened this summer at mile 10 of 13, only this time it was my palm. when i got home i tried to clean that peice of ‘dirt’ out of my hand only to find a rock about a 1/2" long stuck straight into my hand.

when i was young, like 10 or so, i remember getting chased down a small hill in our neighborhood by a medium/large sized dog. the only time in my life i decided to just hit the brakes. the dog went flying past me looking backwards in disbelief of what i did. he slammed HARD into a utility pole! he never chased me again.

on the same hill, about the same age, I was looking back at my friend whom i just ‘attacked’ on my bike. i swear that parked car jumped out in front of me!

I’m feeling better about myself already. LOL!!!

During a run once I was slightly lost and was looking off to my right, down a side street trying to get my bearings. There was a tree on the curb which protruded quite a bit into the road. I ran right into it. Hit my left shoulder and arm/hand on it (missed my face by dumb luck), spun me 360 and I slowed down to a jog and did an intentional 360 to see if anyone saw, no one did (I think), and finished the rest of my run with blood dripping any dried all over my forearm and hand.

Narrowly avoided running into a parked car during a 5k. Was 4k in and for some reason was trying to see if anyone was behind me (on a straight road). Looked back just in time and missed the car by a few inches. Oops.

Earlier this year we moved to California and were living temporarily with my brother in law. I kept experimenting with new running routes but most of the running had to be done on sidewalks because the area was so busy. I have now learned running on sidewalks is dangerous. On one of the runs I suddenly tripped and fell. It was one of those falls where I was running and all of a sudden I was laying on the floor. As I sat up I suddenly felt nauseated and faint and completely blacked out. Apparently on the way down I had hit a funny bone or something. I was only out for about 5 seconds. After that little incident I was able to get home but I am sure cars driving buy were probably wondering what that woman was doing laying on the sidewalk.

When I was very young my grandparent were in the process of building their next home. The great room was designed with floor to ceiling windows which in essence were the walls on 3 sides of the room.

I guess we visited the day after the windows were installed…

I saw my grandfather outside and took off running at full sprint from about 50 feet away. At terminal velocity I jumped to miss the floor vent hole and hit the window in mid air. I probably bounced back further than I jumped…

The next time I visited all the windows had blue painters tape on them.

Years ago was doing a tempo run at about 5:30min/mile pace on some (usually empty) narrow trails. Rounded a corner just as a doberman was heading in the opposite direction at top speed. He lowered his head and took me out at the knees. I just flew and may have somersaulted in the air. Was a massive dive - I probably covered 5 to ten feet in the air and landed in some bushes. Dog’s owner seemed pissed that I might have hurt his dog, and had no concern for my gymnastics.

Earlier this year we moved to California and were living temporarily with my brother in law. I kept experimenting with new running routes but most of the running had to be done on sidewalks because the area was so busy. I have now learned running on sidewalks is dangerous. On one of the runs I suddenly tripped and fell. It was one of those falls where I was running and all of a sudden I was laying on the floor. As I sat up I suddenly felt nauseated and faint and completely blacked out. Apparently on the way down I had hit a funny bone or something. I was only out for about 5 seconds. After that little incident I was able to get home but I am sure cars driving buy were probably wondering what that woman was doing laying on the sidewalk.

So earlier this year I had an idea for a new product. I just wasn’t sure if it would work or not.

This woman kept running down my sidewalk and thought she would be a perfect candidate. I missed her the first couple times and then my roofie dart tested successfully.

Got a good one…

Two years ago my wife, a sub-3:00 marathoner, was running a route along this quaint little pond in our town where some ducks, geese, and various other waterfowl hang out. It’s a dirt road, well maintained, no potholes or anything, and she had ran past this pond pretty much everyday all year 'round.

Now I wasn’t there but apparently one beautiful, sunny, clear day she was cooling down passing the pond and all of a sudden a small, frizzy-feathered, cross-eyed, HGH-popping, limping, frothing-at-the-mouth duck came charging at her like a hell-hound. She picked up the pace and tried to get away but the duck literally chased her half flying, half waddling nipping at her heels. She sprinted to the house and tried to get the door open, but fumbled with the key. The duck made its way onto the porch and my wife proceeded to boot the duck in the neck, with her $100+ running shoe clad feet, off the porch. But like any good triathlete the duck apparently picked him/herself up and went at it again. My wife proceeded to unleash her best penalty kick form upon the duck to buy herself some time to retreat. Only momentarily stunned, the duck continued to advance, however by this time my wife had the door open and stepped inside before the duck got to her. She watched through the window as the duck pecked at the door and eventually went away.

Since then we have moved to another home (not because of the duck), but to this day neither me nor my wife has returned to that route…

In 2009 I’m running in the Rhode Island 70.3. Just as a turn left on Blackstone Boulevard I see a friend spectating. I wave and give him a shout-out just as I step on and trip over a traffic cone! Doh! I stumbled for a few steps and then went ass-end over tea kettle! Just after I say, “Hey Mike, how’s it going?” he shouts back, “Fine, now how about you!”

Very funny… although that would make me feel less clumsy as it would be an explanation for how/why I fell.

!(file:///C:/Users/sanfords/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot-4.png)!(file:///C:/Users/sanfords/AppData/Local/Temp/moz-screenshot-5.png)http://i40.tinypic.com/30dfno9.jpg
.

Last year I was running with a friend. We went past a school that had lots of construction going on and I managed to get my feet tangled in a wire lying on the sidewalk. It felt like I was in slow motion - when I started going down I tried to run out of the fall but my feet were basically bound together so I did what seemed like a long, slow descent to the cement.

My friend was freaked that I’d wrecked my knee while I was stressed that I might have ripped my new merino wool long sleeve shirt. I was also embarassed about having fallen so did the whole “I’m fine, I’m fine” thing and kept going. A while later my shirt started sticking to my elbow, I didn’t think too much of it and would pull it off and keep going.

When I got home my shirt, luckily it was red, had tons of blood on it and my elbow was ripped up and swollen. Not only did the shirt survive the fall, I think it saved me from doing much more serious damage to my elbow.

Aside from that, at least once a year on runs with my tri club I will trip on nothing and do a full on superman impression for a couple of feet. I’ve never damaged anything more than me ego on these falls.

When I was in college, I went on a late night run. About 11pm. I was running on a residential street and in the most vain, narcissistic fashion possible, I was checking out my form on the shadows the street lights were casting on the street. Next thing you know. BAM!!! Straight into a parked car. Beat the crap out of both shins and wound up on the windshield. To this day if I catch myself getting a little too enamored with myself, I think of that moment.

That would explain your username!

I run by a group of ducks everyday… I think I may need to consider an alternate path around them.

or perhaps beware of possums?